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Love Addiction

Some components to Love Addiction are:
  • Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them.
  • Fearing abandonment and loneliness , we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships.
  • We confuse love with neediness, physical and sexual attraction, pity and/or the need to rescue or be rescued.
Love Addicts are frequently women and men who are looking for connection, however unconsciously choose partners who are physically, and/or emotionally, unavailable.  They may get into a pattern of convincing themselves that their love object really does love them by grasping at behaviors outsiders would consider minimal, at best.  However, determined to make the relationship "work" they continue to pursue, manipulate, or contol the other person to achieve relationship.  The dynamic is ultimately exhausting and debilitating.  

SACC caters to men and women who suffer from love addiction where sex can easily get confused with love.  If you are already in recovery, we can move you along and explore the roots of this addiction.  It is based in trauma.  We offer protocols including BrainSpotting, EMDR and somatic psychotherapy to achieve relief, insight and healing.

If you are unsure whether you are a love addict or not, take the test below.  If you answer "yes" to five or more questions, please contact us for a more in-depth assessment.

Yes No 1. Does your life feel unmanageable due to your sexual and/or romantic behavior or excessive dependency needs?
Yes No 2. Do you find yourself trying to deal with or wanting to escape life’s problems through the use of sex or “relationships”?
Yes No 3. Was there ever a point that you wished you could stop or control your sexual and romantic activities for a given period of time?
Yes No 4. Have you or do you have sex regardless of the consequences (e.g. the threat of being caught, risk of pregnancy, the risk of contracting STIs, etc.)?
Yes No 5. Do you engage in the practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc., in ways that bring emotional discomfort or pain?
Yes No 6. Does your spiritual life feel negatively affected by your sexual and/or romantic life?
Yes No 7. Does your sexual and/or romantic behavior affect your reputation?
Yes No 8. Do you feel that you would lack your identity if you were not someone’s lover, romantic interest, or partner?
Yes No 9. Do you feel that life would have little to no meaning without a love relationship or without sex?
Yes No 10. Do you feel that you’re not “really alive” unless you are with your sexual / romantic partner?
Yes No 11. Do you generally believe that the problems in your life result from continuing to remain with the “wrong” romantic or sexual partner?
Yes No 12. Do you find yourself in relationships that you believe that you cannot leave?
Yes No 13. Do you feel bored in doing everyday activities unless there is someone around with whom you can flirt?
Yes No 14. Have you ever had a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because of outside sexual or romantic activity?
Yes No 15. Do you find that you have a pattern of repeating unhealthy or toxic relationships?
Yes No 16. Do you have a pattern of feeling emotionally dependent on a romantic or sexual interest?
Yes No 17. Do you feel desperate about your need for a sexual interaction, the obtainment of a lover or future mate?
Yes No 18. Do you feel desperation or uneasiness when you are away from your sexual or romantic partner?
Yes No 19. Do you believe that someone romantically or sexually in your life can “fix” you?
Yes No 20. Have you ever felt that you were obligated or “needed” to have sex?
Yes No 21. Do you get “high” from sex and/or romantic interactions? Do you crash?
Yes No 22. Do you feel that you don’t want anyone to know about your sexual or romantic activities?
Yes No 23. Do you feel you need to hide sexual or romantic activities from others – friends, family, co-workers, counselors, etc.?
Yes No 24. Have you had or do you have sex with someone you don’t (didn’t) want to have sex with?
Yes No 25. Do you find yourself unable to stop seeing a specific person even though you know that seeing this person is destructive to you?

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